MERRY CHRISTMAS

http://news.yahoo.com/comics/uclickcomics/20061220/cx_pr_uc/pr20061220
preteena - censored

glad I'm not censored like preteena. but I must say - this year I've felt that way more and more. like if I'm being offensive to the general public by enjoying one of the most important times in my year. I feel like in society's effort to be "inclusive" to everyone we have excluded an entire group: Christians and Christmas!

so, I reclaim it for the week and thank all of you who have said it already (especially Hun - who was the first to send me a Christmas card! - talk about being inclusive:)!)


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

(heart) tulip

Wash your hands!!!!!! (a rant)

It amazes me (and absolutely disgusts me) how many people don't wash their hands after going to the toilet. I just passed a girl heading straight from her stall out the washroom door and I had the urge to say "excuse me! aren't you forgetting something?!?"
I surpressed the urge and have settled for a blog rant.

wash you're hands
we are fortunate enough to live in a developed country
this means that healthcare is relatively accessible
but it doesn't negate the risk of disease spread
wash your hands!

healthcare may be "free"
but it certainly is not cheap! (what do you think your taxes are for?)
save yourself the hassle (time and the money) of getting sick!
and don't make others sick!
wash your hands!

so you think your hands aren't dirty because you think you didn't "touch" anything?
that doesn't mean that the person who opened that stall door before you didn't have/do something nasty!
wash your hands!!!

"Hand washing is the single most effective way to prevent the spread of infections." (Health Canada says so!! and it's true!)

grrrrr, tulip

*edit note - you may notice that this was posted at some unearthly hour in the morning. The time is not wrong - it was too early for truly coherent thinking (even now I'm still struggling...)
so I've edited a line or two.

Some thoughts - and the value of money

• there is a guy across from me wearing a sad-looking Santa Clause hat. Probably a dollar store edition. I'm glad he's in the spirit of the season, but gee - the hat's not that merry.

• thought directed to library rats - (you know, like mall rats they're those people who just go to the library to hang out - because clearly they're not there to do work - otherwise, why would they talk to their friend for a *SOLID HOUR* or have an entire(ly too loud) conversation on their cell phone). Do you even go to this school? I don't mind if you just came play games on the computer (I do that sometimes) - but if you've come to talk - and disrupt my work - please go elsewhere!

• thought directed to the person who thought up my chemistry labs: "You're joking right??!!!!.... but no, your not joking are you? you're quite serious."(you really want me to read over 40 pages and spend 15 hours of my life for less than 5% of my mark)

• thought directed at a certain someone: I wrote you into one of my stories.......... you were the villain

I recently dropped a quarter on the subway. a guy in a suit picked it up and gave it to me - he said "it's so hard to come by, you don't want to lose it that way". I was struck by the idea that a quarter is valuable (and that this man knows the value of it). It really is - and yet - I always seem to forget that.. Thank God I can forget it, even for a second. that speaks of the relative luxury of my life. I'm not rich - don't get me wrong (in fact - like many students - I'm in debt!) - but for the past two months I've had two pennies to rub together (literally, I'd find 2 cents in my pocket) - I read somewhere that makes me more fortunate than 2/3 of the world. I have enough food to eat and enough clothing to wear and I can read - I'm rich!

(heart) tulip

A wedding

On Saturday I attended the wedding of a dear friend of mine. Here are some thoughts and observations I made.

1. Isn't society strange? Two people and their parents become virtual superstars! for one day. 100 people and more), everyone knows their name, listens to their words and stories about their lives, and cares about how they dress. It is sort of odd.

2. This pair of pseudo super stars may become changed under the spotlight. A shy, quiet, soft spoken man becomes a confident, smiling seducer (have you folks ever seen a garter removal - can we say hot???!!!!!), and a friendly, outspoken, confident woman becomes a blushing bride, a giggling, crying puddle of happiness.
...... Kind of odd.

3. Marriage has the potential to be one of the most astoundingly amazing parts of life. God has allowed for the coming together of two people (and the two shall become one), for better or worse.... for good. Someone who will be (is?)(can be)(hopefully is) your soulmate, your best friend {and for the ladies they can also be your chauffeur and your butler as my wise friend put it! :)}.
And society comes together to give you one heck of a send off - isn't it great?!

4. the best speeches are the shortest, or the ones with actually funny jokes (not uncomfortable jokes where the crowd feels obliged to laugh politely, no, the funny ones where there is spontaneous raucous laughter and you repeat it for the person beside you who was in the washroom at the time)

5. even if a wedding is good, even if it's great: everything goes smoothly, no one trips, the dj is great and the food is delicious; even if all these things fall into place - nothing can compare to a job that has been well done. A wedding where all the little details have been worked at with love, and care by friends and family. Handmade centre pieces, homemade desserts, a special ordered guest book - it's the thousands of details that show time and effort and spell L O V E. love of a bride for her groom, him for her, parents for their child, a family (a village!) for their children.
love

I get all warm just thinking about it :).

(love) tulip

an excellent sentence (and the resulting confusion)

Water: why did the chicken cross the road? says:
although I can't say I don't mind not being unable to cross the street!

C says:
there are a lot of negatives in that sentence ... what?

Water: why did the chicken cross the road? says:
lol. never mind!
I think it was supposed to be *able
or maybe - actually it is unable - lol - that is a lot of negatives!
(and I wasn't even trying to be confusing)


and another funny exchange I recently had with C

me: the story was about a woman with, um.... what's it called when you forget things?
C: amnesia.

:) ok, maybe my brain is on sabbatical :)
(heart) tulip

Why did the Chicken Cross the road?

Because the Santa Clause parade was not blocking it's path!

So on Sunday I had quite a time getting home. I went straight to church after a weekend away from home. so I had my stuff loading down both shoulders, and decided to take the TTC home instead of trying to walk on highheal-soar feet with heavy baggage.
Unfortunately, at Spadina, the streetcars had stopped coming because of an accident on the route. Ok, not a problem - I can walk the remaining way home. little did I know what madness waited above ground. when I got upstairs I was greeted with the sight of a thousand people lining the streets. I had forgotten about the Santa Clause parade. Scores of children, parents, people, were croweded onto the sidewalk. I paused at Spadina hoping that a break in the parade would allow me to cross the street. sadly, this was not the case. Only after walking several blocks east (back towards church!!) did I declare my efforts futile. - for even if I managed to slide/squeeze/prise my way through the throng on my side of the street, through a break between floats and paraders, I would have no hope of getting through the crowd on the other side of the street (or past the policemen patroling it at frequent intervals).
I was not the only person having this problem - I met several people along the way with the same frustrated/trapped/angry feelings. One lady was clearly trying to find China town and having severe difficulty, not only was she lost and pressed by a crowd of blank faces, she didn't speak english!!! I hope she eventually found her way.
I considered walking all the way back to Bay in order to get to an underground walk way (can we say grrrrr for a moment?!). I stopped for breath at St George (almost halfway back to Bay St), and decided to take the subway - even if it meant extra money - just for the sake of avoiding the throng! I came in behind two students who were explaining to the subway attendent that they just wanted to cross the road to go to school! he let us all in for free, saying we could take the subway a stop or two south.
Gee! who knew the Santa clause parade could insight such thougts of anger. frustration and resentment!
tulip

Why did the Chicken Cross the road?

some sayings Kiswahili

I'm doing an assignment for my swahili class. the teacher is an adorable little man who is very kindly and cute. although I'm certainly not the best student (actually, I may be the worst in the class - but I tell myself that's cause the majority of people are native speakers), I do enjoy it.
here a few sayings and their translations that I just came across by Hassan O. Ali (http://www.glcom.com/hassan/kanga.html) .


Akiba haiozi
translation: Savings never go bad
general explanation: It's always good to save or invest for the future.

Akufukuzae hakwambii toka
translation: A person who wants you out of her/his place will not tell you, 'Get out!'
general explanation: The actual Swahili proverb doesn't stop there, it continues with: "... you will just learn that from her/his actions."This proverb (which is used a lot in the Swahili world) is just a reminder that people's inner feelings are mostly communicated through actions, attitude and behaviour, and much less through words.Literally, the proverb tells people not to wait until they are verbally notified that they are no longer welcome at a particular place, instead, they should try to take note of the attitude, actions, and behaviour of their hosts, to know that they have stayed long enough and it was time to leave.

(our english equivalent would be, "actions speak louder than words")
This next one made me laugh out loud!

Dunia duara
translation: The Earth is round
general explanation: Go wherever you go, but you'll return to the same old place. In some cases this saying is used to discourage overindulgence in other peoples' affairs. The Earth is round, everything revolves, and you'll never get to the bottom of everything! Some would add, "Dunia duara, ukiichungua utahara!!" (The Earth is round, you'll end up catching diarrhoea if you investigate it!). Try not to get bothered, worried and concerned with everything. Afterall, the Earth is round!

what are some of your favourite english (or any other language) sayings?
tulip

again, all sayings, translations and explanations taken from http://www.glcom.com/hassan/kanga.html. (Copyright © Hassan O. Ali, 2004).

Happy (belated) Remembrance Day

I hope you folks are doing well.
I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge those who have sacrificed for a just cause.
I do not support the war (or the act of war for that matter), but I support the thousands who have sacrificed to uphold the freedom and rights of others (us included!) and defend those who are innocent and threatened.
I honour those who have sacrificed their lives, their adulthood, their parenthood, their mental health, their future (I just saw in the Saturday Star the numbers of those who have died in Afghanistan since 2001 - the ave age is around 29!! - the number, especially those age 21, 22, 23, 24 saddens me deeply); those families who have lost parents, siblings, children, aunts, uncles, loved ones.
I can't help but hope that one day a time will come when killing people is no longer seen as a means to any end.
But in the mean time, I send up prayers and send out thoughts for those who have died, and for all those who have lost someone in the military.
(heart) tulip

A Beautiful, Windy Day

Today is a beautiful Windy day. I took a short walk past Queen's Park and was excited to find that Toronto the Grey, is no longer grey... For the moment it's coloured Fall.
Just before I came in the sky was lovely light blue with white clouds, and the trees - the trees were orange, yellow, red, green, auburn, purple.
The ivy covered buildings around campus reflect these colours as well - for the moment far from old and grey, instead - alive - with fire - colour.
I breathe, for the moment not smog, but crisp Fall air, brisk Fall wind.
For the moment Toronto the Grey is Coloured - Fall.

Sunny day

Hi ho
3 random thoughts:
1. I just discovered a pair of lined pants this morning - they made me very happy... so warm! who ever you are that gave them to me (Spart, was it you?) THANK YOU muchly.

2. I know I shouldn't complain, but I hate hate hate - getting my teeth cleaned (Spart, let me finish before you decide never to speak to me again) - I just went to the dentist yesterday and am about to go back - it's terrible - the high pitched wining of the machine, the sound of metal scraping teeth, the awful feeling of the scrape of sharp metal on teeth and gums..
.... or maybe I was just distressed to have someone that close to me (ok, so maybe I have a few "touch" issues). Don't get me wrong - I love the fact that my teeth are clean, and I guess if I'd been going on a regular basis it wouldn't be so painful - maybe. So I just wanted to send out my sympathies to you who have ever had teeth problems/issues (sappho and your wisdom teeth, Hun, C) - because it really is quite a distraction to walk around all day feeling that your mouth isn't right - So kudos to you who have done it and are doing it.

3. The dome on top of the Sac building has been painted white, with two black eyes and a mouth. - it makes me think of ROSI - our friendly repository of student information who is the school mascot that resembles a demented stick figure (oh those crazy roof-painting engineers!)

(heart) tulip

** 2 hours later
PS - just came back from the second half of the cleaning - it went much better than the first. They reiterated that if I go more frequently it won't hurt as much - I'll try to take their advice.
and I really am grateful for the oppurtunity to have my teeth cleaned - yay for clean teeth!

University 101

this is supposed to be a quick post - it has been raining all day and my socks and shoes are soaked through - and cold! and my friend just yelled at me "TAKE EM OFF, u'll get foot fungus!" (so ofcoarse I instantly felt like my toes were starting to grow fungus...)
so I will try to be brief. but since I recently receieved an email from my dear long distance roommate telling me to blog - blog I will.

Over the past few days I've realised that there is so much about university that no one ever tells you - I think there should be a course when you start: Surviving University 101.
lessons would include topics like:

Procrastination:
inevitably it will happen - but try not to procrastinate on important stuff - like essays worth 30% of your mark! (I know it sounds impossible - and it just might be for some people - but hey - I just had to put it in there)
interesting example: In my entire university career I have missed several assignments, quizzes, even an essay (worth 30% :(_!!) - and I've figured that if I had just handed in all the things I didn't do (handed in, I'm not even talking aced!) - I could probably boost my gpa by half a letter grade. And together with all those assignments I handed in late - an entire letter grade. it seems like a small thing at the time - but it really adds up!

Completing your degree
Estimates put it at 4 years - but if you do the math (20 courses, 5 per year) - it's almost impossible! - unless you do summer school (I say "almost" because I do know one person who did it - at least I think she did - she may have done summer school) - because it does not allow for - failing courses or dropping courses which you think you might fail (an aside which could be devoted to an entire lesson called - "how to improve your gpa by dropping courses which are too hard the first time around"). It also does not allow you to change majors in second year (or third year... or fourth year), or have any extenuating circumstances (which really are beyond our control)

Graduating
don't let them wait until May of the year you plan to graduate in June to tell you that you're missing a breadth requirement! (they did that to a friend of mine!) ask questions! and then ask some more questions - it's ok to harrass people - that's what your paying them for!

Take advantage of your fees!
You pay them - know what they go towards - and make use of those things offered to you because of them (or because of money donated by others) eg gyms, free tutorials/ editing, bursaries, grants, scholarships, libraries, free food at events, events, clubs, lectures by famous people, lectures by obscure people who may be famous in 20 years, career information, resume clinics, did I mention grants and bursaries???

Etiquette
Don't EVER talk during lectures unless you are speaking directly to the prof - otherwise please leave the room - everyone else is there to listen to the prof - not to try to hear over your annoying whisper!
WAIT until the previous class has left the room before you barge in! There is only so much room in the lecture hall and the seats aren't going to run away before you reach them.
WAIT until the prof is finished before you start packing your stuff - especially if the class isn't over yet!
DON'T whisper in the library - your "ssss....tsss..sss...." is far more annoying than your regular voice would be (unless your regular voice is loud and obnoxious, in which case, don't talk!). and NEVER use your cellphone for convo's over 30 secs - if any longer please leave.

(ok, so these are just a few of my pet peeves that I think should be taught across the board)


LEARNING
get out there! explore! the majority of my learning did NOT happen in the classroom. the life skills I learned (am learning) -like communication (would you believe people used to think I was shy and quiet??), and empathy, love, strenght (<- clearly not spelling!), courage, thinking of others .....etc.... did not fit under the course discriptions for BIO 150 or GGR 310! there will only be one time in your life when you have so much freedom (hopefully you have freedom - I guess not everyone does....but if you do...) enjoy it!

and lastly (in the words of C) "its an adjustment for everyone, and no on really knows what they're doing either. just go with it, and ask for help if you need it"

Ok, so maybe I could have used this course myself - because I certainly didn't follow all the advice - but that's because I had to learn it the hard way!
Please add to this list as you see appropriate - maybe one day I'll run my idea by the University Board (of whatever it is that decides on what courses are taught).

yours, tulip

Indignant

(an angry rant which may be spurred by my increasing sense of panic and indecision concerning assignments and my lack of sleep)

I'm tired seeing weight-watching ads on Yahoo and titles on the front of magazine covers:
lose weight quick; lose 7 pounds in 7 days; lose 10 pounds in 10 days; tuck tummy, vanish flab....

Who are you? and how dare you tell me I need to lose weight?!!! there's nothing wrong with my weight! maybe my eating habits could occasionally do with a face lift (i.e. more fruits, more vegetables, less chips from a truck [mmmmm but so good, whatever you say spart, still the best I've ever had!]) but weight loss is not the goal of my existence - knowing that I'm healthy should be. and how dare you (who ever you are oh media person who controls my interruptions - by ads on my TV, during my email checking, and my walks down the street) try to make me think or feel otherwise!

and here's the second thing
I'm running around from laundry mat, to library, to kitchen, to grocery, to volunteer, to choir, to rushed conversations with friends, to class. And I'm feeling guilty for all the things I should be getting done - all those emails I should write or pages I should read - not to mention class notes, applications for jobs and postgrad stuff..... and it's true - I should be a better steward of time but what I'm about to say is also true:
there is a little voice inside my head which keeps saying "you gotta do what you gotta do"
but Darn it! I disagree. I gotta do what I CAN do. and if what I can do is less than what I gotta do - too bad! stop making me feel guilty little voice - go suck a lemon! I value keeping contact with my friends and with myself - I think it's important to breath now, not later when I have the time.....
!


ok, enough ranting. got to go do work :). hope you are well, dear reader. hope you stand up to the voices in your head!
(heart) tulip

life is....

sappho said...
hmmm...i've always conceptualized of life as waves - like waves of water - except the waves aren't made up of water, they're made up of everything. so, at times of peace and quiet, when you can get things done and have time to rest and reflect, it's as if the tide is out, and calm; and when you have tons of things to do and you feel like you're running from one thing to the next with barely any time to breathe, it's as if the tide is slowly rushing in. wave upon wave upon wave...that's always how i've thought about it, without exactly consciously realizing it. good question, talibah! thanks for asking it :)love,s
9:18 AM

recently I was reading through some old blogs and I came across this excellent response to a question on our metaphor of life. I just thought I'd resurrect it for the day. It's so true.
* * * * * *
This morning on my way to the library a man and a woman got out of a taxi and started walking towards the library in front of me. I listened in on their conversation.

man: geez, it's been so long since I've been here
woman: oh? did you go to U of T?
man: yeah.

I smiled to myself as I thought about it - one day that will be me... walking up to Robarts (a trip which I make now EVERY SINGLE DAY) thinking - "geez, it's been so long since I've been here"
it's such a strange thought. I still have dreams about my primary school - a school I stopped going to at age 11 and one which I haven't visited in several years. It is always contained in my most vivid dreams. and the house I grew up in is often in my dreams too. Sometimes my current friends are there - even Tom enters my dreams - and sometimes the place where I'm living - but I can't think of a single dream that has taken place at U of T.
but one day - when I'm no longer here frequently ("geez, it's been so long since I've been there") and my brain is regurgitating images that have been imprinted on my subconscious, I'll be here again.
right now, sitting in Robarts, it's difficult to imagine where I'll be when that happens - will I be some place far away (or living in Barrie ;))? the image I have is in a house by a beach - maybe in Nova Scotia, maybe Vancouver, maybe Barbados, maybe Kenya - there really is no telling where I'll be - but one day (maybe not to distant future) I'll be far from here. :)

Thoughts while walking revisited

I've moved and there is much to be said about my new place..... There is also nothing much to be said about it..... So let's do the latter. But the people are really nice.

The walk to church is just a bit longer than before - but on Sunday it was a beautiful day and I had a good time walking. Here are some thoughts I had while walking:

1) I'm glad that we're not dogs - imagine how long it would take if we tried to stop to greet everyone we met while we walked - I mean - even if we didn't sniff butts - shaking hands would take almost as long. and a ten minute walk would quickly become a 60 minute walk. But just think how many friends we could make!

2) I'm also glad we're not all toddlers - they always seem to take the circuitous route to things. never straight - more frequently perpendicular to where your going or where you want them to go - especially if the wrong direction spells trouble. have you ever noticed how many toddlers make a mad dash for the road if you let go of their hands for even a minute - what is that?

3) Currently the Film festival is taking place in Toronto. I walked up Bay street and through Cumberland which is a very happening location with lots of hotels, theatres and famous people. it's where "the action is". However, for those of you who know me - you know that I couldn't recognize a famous person if they bit me on the butt! (my philosophy is - they don't know my name... why should I know theirs?) - But I must admit that I have caught some of the star fever that is engulfing the city - so my strategy is simple - I try to spot the folks who look as though they're trying to be incognito - but who are dressed suitably (especially in black or leather). and then I imagine who they might be. like maybe that guy who walked by with the leather jacket and the shades with the lady and two young girls, is some famous director who has brought up his family to see the up and comings in the industry. I can imagine indefinitely almost any role for any person - which I feel is better than actually knowing what the star really looks like and being able to tell who someone is or isn't.

Today I started classes. In this light I'm sure there will be many more entries as the procrastination begins once more! here's to school! and new beginnings!
tulip

Heart Hug

Sometimes, if we sit quietly, we realise that our heart has been crying and we have not been listening. Sometimes when that happens it helps to speak to a kind friend, to hear words of encouragement, to see a rainbow or a beautiful wonder. I think of these things as "heart hugs" - they act as a medicine for many ills.

def - "Heart hug": An act of kindness by someone, or an event or realisation that gives you a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside - like a hug for the heart.

here is an example recently found in my journal - March 23rd 2003

"Heart Hug.
Nat came in and gave my heart a hug today. Just when I needed it my Father sent me a heart Hug in the shape of a friend."

(the picture is the result of Nat's heart hug - she put my bandana on G-bear who became - G-bear unleashed { or 'george of the jungle'} we set him up on Joe, the tiger (he roars!), with a background of green)

So here's to heart hugs.
ps - sometimes chocolate works as a substitute hug :)
for best results use substitutes sparingly

Fool For love/ Kissing a Fool/ Fools rush in...

So on Sunday I spoke with a friend of mine. She told me that she had called up an acquaintance and asked him out for coffee. She put herself out there on a limb....
and was left hanging.

As if inspired by her bravery I went out on my own personal limb sometime around 2:30 Monday morning. But I prefer to describe it in this way: I ran up against a brick wall.

When I was 15 I fell in love with a boy who didn't notice me. He wasn't quite as bad to me as Summer was to Seth Cohen (wink - that reference was for K and all the other OC watchers)... I mean, he knew I existed, and we even talked pretty frequently. I just don't think that he ever realized that I'm a girl....
And so I would make every effort. Looking back at my 15 yr old self I realize that I was not very subtle. I would tease him and say things like "You know I say this with love". Or, when teased too much his 15 yr old self would rebel by saying "I hate you" and I would simper "I love you too".
Anyways, long story short the feeling of continuously putting my feelings out there in serious and not serious ways felt like running into a wall. I felt like a basketball being bounced against an orange colored brick wall. Don't get me wrong, it's not as painful as it sounds... Basketballs are quite hardy.
And later, I did it again with another boy.... Another orange colored wall.. And I suppose the second time succeeded for a number of years.. The wall and I were one for a time (LOL - sorry - I couldn't resist).
Now, I've done it again. I rewrote a letter I wrote at 16.... 7 years later I'm still writing the same letters to the same person...Still falling down the same hole...Running against the same wall... At first I berated myself.
At first it felt like a particularly rough fall..I was going to compare it to my last fall on a bike (the one in my last blog). when I told my friend about it she tried to be encouraging and said "oh, just one fall? That's not bad!". I responded by explaining that one fall is sometimes all it takes to wipe you out....
I was going to use that comparison when I realized that in a sense I've taken the fall 3 times... And I'm willing to take another in the name of love!
So that's when I realized that even though it hurts, the truth is that the risk is minimal compared to the potential Joy! And one day, because of the courage I'm building, the muscles I'm using, when I am called to task in the name of love.. I will go out on a limb and that's where my love will be. We'll meet each other there and then.... We will fly!
Although my actions can be terrifying, I now claim them... I take and accept full responsibility. I declare (loud and proud) that I am a fool for love!

lift your hands if you're with me!
Fools for love!!!!

tulip

Memento: Gratitude tattoo

On Saturday K, her crazy mountain biker friend and I went to Blue Mountain. Crazy mountain biker friend (cmb) went to enjoy a day of discount rides up the mountain and exhilarating rides down (you should see the jumps they make voluntarily - your stomach falls just watching!). K and I went to do a bit of less adventurous riding and enjoy the scenery.
The scenery was beautiful. The Georgian Bay is such a peaceful site of blue and light blue and darker blue beside blue sky. From the top of the mountain (which is more of a hill really but I suppose by flat Ontario standards it's quite a giant) the view is lovely.
K and I took the "cross country route" which extends along the top of the mountain and is supposed to be "easier" (but is definitely not for beginner bikers). On our first incline I took quite a spill. K was ahead of me and out of site so I peddled fast in the hope of catching up. Then when the incline started I thought nothing of it - at first.
The incline is a short slope probably less than 15 degrees but formed in gravel and rock so that, although not steep it is VERY fast, and difficult to brake on. I flew for seconds, minutes (hours??) I can't say - I can just say that I flew and tried to keep my wits about me and my bike upright (it felt like walking a very thin line between abject fear and well - terror).And just after passing 2 pedestrians my bike skidded and fell. I skidded for a bit but didn't break or even sprain anything (other than the bike fender). I just received scrapes and a tattoo across my calf from the gears.
Truth be told I was relieved to fall because the terror of riding out of control is far worse than the actual fall - when you don't know how it will end you can imagine twenty horrible endings and the suspense of not knowing which one it will be is the worse part. Will I crash into a pedestrian or another cyclist? will I go off the path into a tree? will I hit something and fly over the handle bars? will I .....but when it has ended I can safely stop worrying about the other possibilities and deal with the one that is. Not knowing is the hardest part I think.
So I took stock of myself - declared myself ok to the pedestrians who stopped to make sure, and walked the rest of the way to K, who was by now wondering what was keeping me. She was able to fix the bike (didn't even need to ask assistance from a boy!). and when we returned to the main building and saw another biker who had to be fixed with a neck brace and taken out on a stretcher to an ambulance - I felt much better about my wounds...
However, I did not feel any less shaken up or any more confident. Afterwards we rode to a town near by. I did not enjoy the ride because I had visions of wiping out on being hit by a car. Thankfully no such thing happened. I guess it will be a while before I can happily go riding again. But all in all I come away healthy and grateful. grateful for the guardian angel who may not spare me from all pain but spares me from most of it, and gives me strength and a sense of humor to bare it.

hiho

hiho
now here's the thing - I want to do a series of posts on something personal. but I hesitate to write it here. I can't explain why, except that I don't feel as if it would be right to put here. I want to write about my own experiences - because recently I've felt as though I must write - and as though this is what I must write. the reason I will do it at another adress is that I would like to keep the rainbow connection as I see it - a place of hope - that is what rainbows symbolise to me anyways. what I wish to write about is not hopeless, just heavy so I feel the need to distinguish the two blogs. plus this way if you're in the mood for heavy you can just go to the other one. so -for the moment let's title it - Unorphanhood - can be found at http://talibah2.blogspot.com/.
don't worry, I still intend to keep writing here... and on Tom tales.... haha - I do have a habit of biting off more than I can chew - keeps things interesting I guess.
in anycase - I'm as always glad for your faithful audience.
(heart) tulip

He abides in the silence

Recently, I came across a wonderful passage in an Adult Learner (a lesson book at church). The passage was contained in a lesson which dealt with the lonliness that we often experience as human beings.

The Divine Comforter
As a special provision, the Lord has arranged for the believer to have a lifelong Companion in the person of the Holy Spirit (John 14:16-18)
He abides in the silence; He pervades the darkness. “Personal awareness of the Spirit who dwelleth in you and shall be in you” means that the believer is never alone.
The believer has available to him the means of being alone without being lonely. He can read the Word and be aware of the Holy Spirit in everyday life.

The passage struck me because the imagery is beautiful. The idea of there being a comforter who lives in a quiet place is wonderful. I would like to highlight the image - "he pervades the darkness". For me the dark is not a place that I often fear. In fact - for a time I used to love the night time -I found it to be a time of cool escape from the hot, stressful day. But there was a time when I feared the dark. When I was four my mother died suddenly. I became terrified of - well - it's hard to explain really what I was terrified of - it wasn't exactly the darkness - it was the way I felt mostly at night - I felt as though my back was exposed to the world.. to something out there.
and I know there are many who feel this way - not just at four but at twenty four, at forty-four.
So when I read that line, I remembered how I felt about the night - both the negative and the positive feelings. And I realised that the Holy Spirit which abides with us, is with us during both of those nights. He abides when we seek rest and comfortingly, He abides with us through the darkest and most difficult nights.

(heart) Tulip


(Passage John 14:16-18:16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.)

do I really need an interest so close to world cup?

"dunno... she's beautiful older and all that... but ...treading water comes to mind
....(and) do I really need an interest so close to world cup...?
that would distract from the important things in life"
(convo with Titus tonight- a friend from home)

hello,
I haven't updated in over a month. I'm sorry guys - I really have no good reason. I mean - I was doing exams and essays and then recovering (from exams and essays) but I don't know what I've been doing for the past two weeks...
anywho - I just wanted to share that quotable quote. plus I was ashamed that I hadn't updated in so long. I also want to give honourable mention to one of the pics on Hun's site - it's titled "me and the love of my life" I love it Hun!
hmm.
ok. see you soon! take care.
(heart) tulip - hungry (for spaghetti......???....!!!)

Early morning singing telegram

hi ho
this morning, in celebration of the beau's Big birthday I showed up at his door with a singing telegram. I arrived - unexpected - at 7:20 with breakfast {compliments to "uncle Tim" (Hortons)} and did a little Birthday jig. :)

It was an instant hit.

I must admit - I was really worried that it would be weird - I'm always worried about coming on too strong - you know - that psycho girlfriend type that you always hear about... but K reassured me (to the point of screaming at me - ok so maybe it was after midnight and I was still worrying about it) that it's really romantic and not in the least creepy to show up unannounced at someone's door (well - so long as the someone happens to be your bf/gf - otherwise I can't really say it's not creepy).

anyways with my good deed done for the day - I'm off to bed now - to finish sleeping.

Superwoman

Superwoman by Karyn White

"I'm not your super woman......
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that everythings's ok
I'm only human"
"I'll give my love and lasting love. if you return love to me...."

these are just a few of the lines from a song that took me through a lot of my childhood. I loved this song. I would sing it at the top of my lungs and close my eyes. I memorized all the words and sang it with feeling. I was NOT your super woman - I deserved love and respect.. ...
I *was* the song.
I can't explain it any better than that. I can only ask you to remember how you held onto things as a child - maybe it was a doll or a blanket, or a corner of the house, for me it was songs - and that was one of MY songs.
My father loved me to sing that song - or maybe it was just that he liked me to sing - and express myself - (a lot of people would have said that I was a quiet child). He even got me a record with that song - a little record - what's it called? and LP?? (see I was too young to even know what it was called) - but I do know that he bought it for me - before I could even operate the record player :). and he and I would sing walking down the street. (these days K and I sing walking down the street - but for me that habit has much older roots..) I would be a bit embarassed maybe at first - but once we got off the busy streets and once I got started I would be singing and dancing like there was no one else in the world.
it is a great memory to have. I hope everyone has at least one memory so sweet.
tulip.

p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p

a poem by me

pout pucker
pout pucker
pout pucker
pout pucker

separated by an attitude.

I'm in the library working on an essay - well I'm supposed to be working on an essay but I've just spent over half an hour reading Dooce.com and I still don't feel like researching. the only consolation is that I'll never have to do another geography course in my life!!! ever! again!
in other news....
On Saturday I had quite a day. in the afternoon I was quite exhausted and in need of a nap - but K and I wanted to make up something fun for dinner so we had to go to the super market. and what an adventure it was. before we left I entered my room - the conversation which followed went something like this:
"K... my bed attacked me!"
"do you have your shoes on?"
(after looking at my feet)"no... I don't seem to have my shoes on"
K then comes into my room with my runners - she proceeds to put them on - on me! she puts my shoes on. she holds one foot, and presses on the shoe and then ties the laces, she repeats with the other foot. I am laughing so hard I don't know how she manages it - I seriously don't know the last time someone put my shoes on for me - I must have been 3 years old!
At the super market 2 more funny things happened

• an old lady winked at me (she liked Easter candy too)
• we accosted a tall boy (we made him take down some crackers which were far too high)

dinner was a success - amazing acorn squash (baked and laced with brown sugar - can we just talk about that for a second?!) and salmon - always a hit.
now I'm off to bang my head on the keyboard like Don Music used to do.... "I'll never get it! never get it!" (for those of you who are unfamiliar with the seseme street character - that's really what he says and does - I'm not crazy!)
tulip

Please turn down your perfume

I am currently sitting in Robarts library - it is 3:33 am and I am tired. but this is not the reason for my rant (though I must admit that perhaps it is, because when I'm tired it's as though my senses are heightened instead of dulled).
I am ranting because two girls just came in and sat about 20 feet away, and from the moment they walked in my senses have been DRENCHED in scent. it is terrible. it is a terrible sweet.... it is a terrible sweet stomach turning stench... I cannot explain it except to say that I think my stomach turned, my eyes started to water and my face took on that "I smell skunk" scowl... I keep on looking around and giving them stink eye.
where are they coming from? a perfume counter maybe. or maybe they have declared it "let's-see-how-many-people-we-can-knock-out-with-our-scent" day........grrrrrrr.
here - K might argue that at least it is a good scent (K is morally opposed to bad smells - she has taught me about emergency gum - you carry it for the times when someone you're speaking to has bad breath "here, have some gum") but I would have to say that such strength surpasses goodness - has left goodness far behind.... such scent is *TERRIBLE*
so with one final gasping breath before I topple sideways out of my chair.....I grasp my neck and whisper(/scream/gurgle).....
would you PLEASE turn down your perfume???!!!!...........
~choke~gasp~
~tulip~

Three blind mice

three blind mice
three blind mice
see how they run
see how they run
they all ran after the farmer's wife
who cut off their tails with a carving knife
have you ever seen such a thing in your life
as three blind mice?!

remember those nursery ryhmes we used to sing?
like

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
life is but a dream

and

yankee doodle went to town.
riding on a pony.
stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni!

what did they mean??!

anyways - I just wanted to say - that the 3 blind mice I wrote about refer to the three munchkins that were living in our house for a little while... but no one will ever cut off Tom's tale!

(heart) tulip

I got nothing

I got nothing to say - but it's time to change my blog background - maybe so I'll feel more inspired to write. honestly - I've been thinking about all kinds of things - but I don't know how to write them.

and I don't have the heart to write any fluff. fluff. fluff. fluff. fluff. fluff.

but lots has been going on - when I update Tom tales it will be full of good stuff! we're having some visitors: a cat and a dog and it's been exactly a week of nonstop action and drama :).
we have been appropriately titled the "animal shelter".
I'm off to go have a muslix pita with peanut butter and banana - for those of you who like raisins, apples, bananas and peanut butter - you should try it.... it's glorious!
tulip

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAPPHO!!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
SAPPHO!!
translation (translation)


HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
SAPPHO!!!!!!!!

ps. who knew that Webdings could look so weird.

It's Slippery out today

hiho
it's slippery out today - there was a freezing rain warning and the ground is treacherous. On my way here I walked very carefully but when I took my mind of the ground for a split second I almost slipped. almost. the instant I started to slip my right arm immediately swung up into the air and I regained my balance. I thought - isn't it funny how your arms just swing up automatically? imagine how fast your brain must be working to analyze the angle of the fall and try to compensate by doing just the right thing - throwing up a left arm, a right arm, pushing the other leg backwards, throwing your weight forward - so many different options and yet you often (though not always granted) pick the right one - in split seconds - simultaneously it seems. in fact, it comes so naturally you don't even think about what it was you did. it blows my mind - my mind does... my mind blows my mind :)
the other amazing thing this week was this lady I met. I guess it wasn't so amazing so much as it made me think - what defines femininity? - what defines looking like a lady? I met this lady who was wearing old running shoes. that's the first thing that I noticed - before I looked up - I just saw the old running shoes with holes in them. and then I raised my eyes slowly (she was sitting opposite me in a group meeting -hopefully she didn't notice me staring)... she was wearing old track pants - the windproof kind, and it too had a hole which she held together with a huge safety pin - and her top was a sweatshirt. her face however, was immaculately done up - and her stature perfect. In fact, when I took in the whole of her - not just the parts - she looked amazing to me - feminine - beautiful, dignified, graceful.... even in my "dress" pants and collared shirt I felt like a slob beside her. It just highlights to me - the clothes certainly don't make the man - or the lady for that matter...:)

later kids.

Reason why we should always wash our hands

hiho
it's been a while. i really don't have anything to say - in fact, I was thinking of going on an official hiatus (sabbatical?) from my blog... but then where would I go to procrastinate... like I'm doing right now....
anyways. yesterday I was in the library and I saw a guy with a pocket mirror - he was cleaning his nose with his fingers..... in front of his computer - a public terminal at the school library..... ew!!!
Reason why it is important to wash hands when one arrives home, and before eating.
other than that I don't have anything to report. I've been going to class and gospel choir and hanging out with K. Oooh - she and I organised my room - K is an organizing fiend!!! she had to find a place for everything! Including my four mostly empty bottles of body lotion (what can i say.. I'm a procrastinator - I never got around to turning them upside down so I could get out the last dregs... and throw them out). So now my room is feng-shued (I have no idea how to spell that and i refuse to look it up - so there!) and Tom loves it. He really is quite a cat. hmm. that's all for now. I just thought it was time for something new on my blog and what better time to do it than when I'm supposed to be writing a lab .
hope that you're doing well.. and I hope that you guys are equally inspired to write something on your blogs (hint, hint) - even if nothing's going on - there's always a reason to share a laugh (or cringe at people doing acts of hygiene in public places). plus it gives me more ways to procrastinate.
tulip

Elections Cont'd

(sorry, I thought the last post was getting too long - but I had so much to say - so here's the rest of it)
speaking of missing the elections,
another member of our household will be missing out on the opportunity to change his country... Yesterday we said goodbye to my old mattress. We are not sure about the actual age of this mattress but best guestimates put it at a minimum of 16!! I inherited it from the girl that lived in the room before I did, and she from the girl that lived in the room before she did... and she from some guy's basement where, apparently, it had rested for 10 years. So I think that it too might have wanted to take advantage of it's rights as a Canadian (that is - I assume it was Canadian and not born south of the border). Matt (as I've affectionately decided to call him) lived an accomplished life. I can't recount all the restful times I've had with him. As we took him downstairs to the dump place, K mused about how many people must have slept in that bed... I, for one, shudder at the thought of it - since I've spent almost 2 years on it myself (and do not want to think about the happenings for the owners before me).. and aside from a mystery wetting incident I must say that it's been some good time spent. So here's to old friends, and good friends - may they live on in our hearts.
tulip

Elections

hiho
so my birthday was this weekend. I had a great celebration of it - thanks to C, Sappho, Tony and mS. And then K came home and threw me a "surprise" "party" (in quotes because it wasn't really a surprise and the "party" consisted of us two : )). but I had a great time and she made me an amazing MOIST cake with 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! candles (best box cake so far roommate!)

Today however, I'd like to write on a slightly more somber topic.
Over the weekend, while K was away, I witnessed the death of her microwave. Poor beloved microwave was on it's last legs and we didn't even know it...

I must admit, I feel somewhat guilty as I had been calling it names and criticizing it harshly (one day it took 1 minute to warm up a pastry - one minute!!! most units take 8 seconds... but we should speak well of the departed), yet unbeknownst to me, the little guy was actually doing us a service beyond the call of duty - he had, infact, survived beyond his allotted time, probably outliving many of those that came after him... he was 18 years old....!
I'm not even kidding you.
I had unplugged microwave (let's call it Mike - I feel he's been around so long that he deserves a name) in order to wipe him down. I'm pretty sure that I didn't get any water into any integral parts, but when I plugged him back in his screen never moved from RESET and the key pad had stopped working. That's all that happened - I promise - I'm sure that K suspected foul play at first because I had displayed such animosity towards Mike - But I hold that I had only the best intentions of making him cleaner. anyways - when K turned him around in an effort to find his unit number (she was checking out possible problems on the internet) we saw the dates and (as they say) - the truth was in the numbers. Our dear Mike was born (manufactured) in 1988. He would have turned 18 this year.... if only he had lasted a few more weeks he would have been able to vote in our Federal Elections on the 23rd! It would have been his first opportunity. K and I feel great sorrow at this missed chance....
anyways, we both agree that he lived a good life and worked hard. So I'll take this opportunity to say - may you rest in peace, Mike.
tulip

Belated

Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!!
Happy Birthday to me!!!

my Christmas, New years, and Birthday were all great! I spent them with friends and family and the family of friends.
Here's hoping that 2006 is a wonderful year for all you reading this.
tulip