My Birthday

*Happy Belated birthday Sappho, I hope you had a wonderful one*

Ok so I wrote this one on my birthday - almost 2 months ago - but it's still true.

Thank you Lord for 26 years!!
I had a great day. My unit sang us Happy Birthday (another student and teacher had their birthday this week) and another teacher made a smashing chocolate cake.
All sorts of people remembered and called or wrote.
And I had a revelation this morning which made the day good.

(*Disclaimer* This revelation is an eyeopener. Do not continue reading if you still believe in Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy or other magical occurrences)

Today I realised that my birthday is just an ordinary day.

I usually think of it as a magical day, full of wonder and pleasant surprises. A day when I have a special glow and am entitled to every special treatment: Breakfast in bed, flowers delivered to my door, a candle light dinner, a huge cake specially marked and at least 3 wonderful renditions of the Birthday song. And most importantly, all my friends and close family must remember to call, and if they don't I have every right to be upset.

Needless to say- I've had a lot of crushingly disappointing birthdays.
But today - after my paradigm shift I realised that it is just an ordinary day. Don't get me wrong: it's still the best day of the year and should be declared a national holiday (obviously). But if you have stuff going on and forgot, or if you haven't highlighted the day on all your calenders, I shouldn't take it personally. I can have a great day pleasant surprises or no.

And a great day was certainly had.

heart, Tulip

rainbow connection

"I'm wishing on a star.
to follow where you are...."

I've been thinking about that song a lot recently because I think I saw a falling star on Monday... and that song immediately came to mind. I never really knew the words but I always sang
"I wish on all the rainbows that I see
I wish on all the people we ever meet"

I like my version - because it applies to what I'm about to say.
I do wish on rainbows. I love where I live right now because in the rainy season I see soo many rainbows - one week I saw one every day for 5 days!
But this wishing on stars, or wishing on rainbows thing is something I'd like to clarify - it's not a belief in fate, or the stars. It's not a wish into the future - or even the past - it's a wish into the present. A realisation of the potential of everything around us. So much potential: in the people we meet, in the sky, in the day.
the Psalms (118:24) says

"This is the day that the Lord has made - let us rejoice and be glad in it"

We can say that of every day. It reaffirms that somewhere - in this day there is a reason to rejoice. And if we can't find one - let's rejoice because God made it!

A rainbow reminds me of this - reminds me that in a bunch of random water particles mixed with light - this thing of immense beauty is created.
Just think about the stars - millions of light-years away (in space and time), balls of fiery rock - twinkling in our night sky.
Today it's 4 days till full moon - my heart beats to think of it, and I observe the moon growing (glowing) every day until then.

The Lord has placed beauty in so many places in His creation.

Let's look for it and enjoy it.

The things I take for granted

It always amazes me when I realise the things that I've been taking for granted.
like self-esteem.
I always forget about self-esteem, self-confidence...etc. It's partly because I'm seldom in situations where I feel I need to show any of it!lol.. but that's also because even when I am in such a situation I don't notice that I'm using it. do you know what I mean?
like my body. or the clothes I wear. I can walk out the door wearing whatever (pajamas spart?!... we classified "dressing up" as wearing jeans! lol) and not worry about what people think of me (it also helps that I live in Toronto and I don't think people actually ever see me unless they've just run into me..lol)...(I'm lucky if I remember to comb my hair before I leave the house!! or look in the mirror...!)(ok. that's one of the benefits of University which I will have to put to rest when I go to work, especially in Barbados where people aren't afraid to tell you how you look...lol!)
but seriously. I always feel slightly surprised when I speak to someone who has to think about all those things (and make up, and stylish clothing and shoes! and hairstyle, and all those extra trappings that people use - not because they want to but because they feel they have to). My sister used to say that it was only because I wasn't (insert negative subjective comment here: eg ugly.....). but then I would shrug and argue that no one is (ugly)...(it's all subjective!) (although I must take a moment to say that I am truly stunning and gorgeous!!! lol).
I think it's partly that I don't see myself in my surroundings. I don't really notice things like my (height/complexion/size/dress/hair) because for one - I can't see myself 99% of the time (I don't carry around a mirror)!
(and if anyone has a problem with my hair they can come and comb it for me!!lol)

I guess I'm just writing to say that this is one more thing for me to be thankful for. I suspect it has something to do with my dad - he was always telling me I was beautiful and intelligent :)... or maybe not - I don't actually remember now... in any case, he always listened to me, and let me know that he valued my presence - which is enough to make anyone feel important, intelligent and yes - even beautiful. I hope I can do the same for any child of mine.

And for those of you lacking it - I hope you can find it in the encouraging smile of that beautiful person who wakes up with you every day... you know...the one in the mirror!
you are important! and special! and loved by God! and by me!
:)

I'm thankful for my self esteem!

(heart) tulip

Go Shorty! it's your T-DAY!!!

happy birthday to me!!!!

(24 thoughts of gratitude)

I'm grateful for 24 years.
I'm grateful that I could spend the day with one of my best friends.
I'm grateful for the knowledge that my Father God has been with me for every one of my birthdays! and has loved me even before birth!!
I'm grateful for health.
I'm grateful for delicious food (Can we say Dimitries??!!!!)
I'm grateful for friends.
I'm grateful for family.
I'm grateful for the freedom to serve the Lord and practise my own religion without secrecy.
I'm grateful for cookies.
I'm grateful for the ability to write my thoughts.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with others.
I'm grateful for others to share my thoughts too (thanks you guys!!)
I'm grateful for the ability to read!
I'm grateful for a bed and a warm house.
I'm grateful for warm clothing.
I'm grateful to be in CANADA - a wonderful country!!
I'm grateful to be going home to BARBADOS some day soon - also a wonderful country.
I'm grateful for good dreams.
I'm grateful for chocolate.
I'm grateful for happy memories.
I'm grateful for bad dreams and unhappy memories (sometimes they make you appreciate the good ones even more!)
I'm grateful for friends that stick by my non-communicitivity(!??! it's my birthday - I can invent at least one word!)
I'm grateful for the ability to learn.... and relearn... and learn some more!!
I'm grateful for second chances.. and third chances!!

I'm grateful for 24 years!! and I'm grateful for you, dear reader!


love, tulip