hallo
I've just watched a movie with Nat - it's called "A Room with a Veiw" - it's a splendid movie - and you should watch it sometime - a romance for romantics... this weekend I've had some quite unreasonable days. take yesterday for instance - I woke up mad and continued to be mad for the rest of the day - except when I took a nap (being mad is quite tiring) and when I sang with the gospel choir (what an experience to sing in Hebrew....). here are a few of the things I was mad at - my house was crazy cold, the weather is cold (-35 with the wind??!!), then I was late for meeting my friends, and I forgot to comb my hair (arrgg! hair) (I spent 10 minutes combing furiously in the jk washrooms that were provided for us in the temple - it's funny how you forget how low toilets have to be so that little kids can sit on them... how short we once were!). and my boots have quite given out - and I could not feel my toes... and then I was hungry. everything quite unreasonable really, and Hiedi rubbed my shoulders and laughed at me being mad, and I felt a little better. only then I wanted to burst into tears at the slightest disturbance (and indeed I did). then I came home and had chicken soup (the best cure for any malady).
today - today was a good day. church - a new class I've started - where we'll study a book - I'll tell you more about it in the days to come, then wonderful singing, then pastor Don.
then Nat and I watched a movie - as I've told you. we watched it first in 1st year - 4 years ago - and loved it. and today, as I watched I loved it all over again. but bitter sweet maybe - it's hard to fully enjoy a romantic movie when... well, when your feeling unreasonable. and I am feeling a bit unreasonable today. how? well, I'll be a little frank right now (and cringe in the near or distant future) - I miss my guy. it's one of those stupid things where your sure you're all better and then something happens - or nothing happens and then your thrown back to square one and a half, and you can't help yourself. do you know what I mean? (stupid boys that won't let you love them). ok, I've been frank enough, and will probably edit this later..
how nice it is to have a surface upon which to rant (a veritable 'Kailey's futon' upon which I can moan) and not be alone in doing so.
it's almost full moon tonight - almost full and beautiful.
talibah
1 comment:
yes, i *do* know what you mean...i hope you don't find this invasive, but somehow i just felt like i had to let you know. when you're flung back to "square one and a half", as you described it so well, it's an awful feeling...and yet, at the same time, what i have learned is that when you're thrown back (for whatever reason, or for no reason (it might seem)) you are in the midst of a process. i visualise that process as cyclical - kind of like a spiral that rises up and up, each time it curves around. and each time it curves around, you are being thrown back to your "square one and a half", but with a difference - you are growing, and learning, little by little. i don't mean this to sound horrid or pedantic. i just wanted to respond. you probably know what i am writing about very well. but somehow i wanted to respond, in spite of the fact that you probably already know.
i love "a room with a view", almost as much as i love "howard's end". have you seen "howard's end"? i think you would like it very much. helena bonham carter is in it, as well as emma thompson.
and yes, the moon is beautiful. so lovely and *glowing*.
love,
saf
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