June 22
I miss…
I miss:Tom
So I: watch the cows across the street – they like themselves on their sides
I miss: Grey’s anatomy
So I: wonder if all my friends who are now doctors (about 4 of them!) experience anything remotely similar to it.
I miss: a variety of fruit for a reasonable price
So I: drown my sorrows in mangos which are in abundant supply (my pee turned dark yellow, I wonder if that’s related)
notes:
the cows lick themselves - although I'm sure they like themselves too. And just for the record - cows lick themselves in a totally different way from cats - or at least I haven't yet seen a cow sitting on its rump with it's back leg over its head!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Heya
Heya
how you doing? i'm well. Saturday went well. all of my old group showed except for what's his name. So I got to see lots of familiar faces. and at first it was kinda odd and awkward and you could feel that people were trying to figure out what sorts of things to say to each other because everyone was just a bit different - but later on we were laughing and joking like old times. What's his name didn't come because he wasn't told about it - I'd asked a friend to tell him and my friend forgot. I felt really worried and bad because he's the only one of our 15 person group that didn't know....
oh well.
I really didn't do it on purpose (but you know I griped about it for hours)and then worried about it for more hours. I won't be calling him to explain, it's really not such a big deal. and if it is, who cares?! I shouldn't!
here's a line from my journal that day (after thinking about it for hours):
" You know there are some people that fade into the distance and you just hear about them occasionally? Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people to myself.... and not have to live with me every single moment: I think a lot."
Anyways - I had a good day, the water was bee-oo-tiful. I'm going to try to stop obsessing about when I'll bump into him. *shakes head, sighs*
tulip
how you doing? i'm well. Saturday went well. all of my old group showed except for what's his name. So I got to see lots of familiar faces. and at first it was kinda odd and awkward and you could feel that people were trying to figure out what sorts of things to say to each other because everyone was just a bit different - but later on we were laughing and joking like old times. What's his name didn't come because he wasn't told about it - I'd asked a friend to tell him and my friend forgot. I felt really worried and bad because he's the only one of our 15 person group that didn't know....
oh well.
I really didn't do it on purpose (but you know I griped about it for hours)and then worried about it for more hours. I won't be calling him to explain, it's really not such a big deal. and if it is, who cares?! I shouldn't!
here's a line from my journal that day (after thinking about it for hours):
" You know there are some people that fade into the distance and you just hear about them occasionally? Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people to myself.... and not have to live with me every single moment: I think a lot."
Anyways - I had a good day, the water was bee-oo-tiful. I'm going to try to stop obsessing about when I'll bump into him. *shakes head, sighs*
tulip
Friday, July 13, 2007
(belated) Triple O seven
Hi Everyone!!
I'm here.
I've been meaning to write since last friday - the day before Triple O-7. I thought it was a fantastic name for a blog (given that the date was going to be the 7th of July 2007, or 07-07-'07... and double O-7 was HOT - so I heard)..
but alas, I didn't have a moment to write and sadly it wont come around again......
well.....
ever.
sigh.
anyways. it was a good day. I hung out with SJ and we went to the beach!!!
that's right - BEACH~!!!~
because I now reside in Barbados, the beautiful Island in the Sun ("willed to me by my father's hand") (none of you know that song, probably - but it's like our official island song - the not-quite-national anthem).
things with me here are going well. I'm have a moment to write because i'm at the library waiting for my sister. yes - the library - but just so we're clear - I now work at the library - so I get paid to spend all my time here - it's pretty sweet. :)
I have few funny library stories. but right now I'm in more of a reflective mood. so I will reflect instead. Tomorrow I'm throwing a thing at the beach. It's in an effort to see as many familiar faces as possible. I haven't been seeing a whole lot in the past month and I'm starting to feel it. Tomorrow is a significant day because it happens to be the anniversary of our graduation from Secondary School - so I've extended the invitation to the entire class (though I only called about 15 of the 135 - haha!). It's also a significant day for me - because it's kinda like my birth-day... or rather, my life-day.
It's the day I felt..... "alive - for the very first time" (sort of)
that was actually an entire year to the day before my graduation day. That was the day I found myself to be in love (for the very first time). That was exactly 7 years ago to the day.
I write it out now because - well - because it's no longer a "special day sacred only to me" (and him sorta). I write about it because so much has changed and it's time to move on. (I almost wrote sorta again in brackets - but no, this time the moving on has to be complete.)
There were sweet moments, such sweet moments. I hope everyone of you reading this post has been in love at some point - because it can be *Sweet*.
I've been reading over my old journals. The first time we told each other "I love you" I grinned for the rest of the week - I even did jigs for no reason on the way home from church, I was perfectly ridiculous.
I learned so much. I grew in ways I never imagined I could grow. But I think the biggest lesson I learned had to do with fear. I used to be so afraid to love completely - and rightly so - it's a powerful thing and a very vulnerable position to be in. but this is what John says on the matter
18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1John 4:18)
So when I read this I thought that the fear would go away. But instead I had to learn to give it away - To God. He is the one that loves us perfectly. And what's more, I had to learn to give it away as many times as it came back - because it did come back.
So, I'm glad I learned that. I'm glad I grew in that. I don't regret a moment of it.
I hope you are well my friends. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes (when I possibly see him - for the first time in 4 years...we'll see how well I've moved on..)
I love you all.
I miss you.
tulip
I'm here.
I've been meaning to write since last friday - the day before Triple O-7. I thought it was a fantastic name for a blog (given that the date was going to be the 7th of July 2007, or 07-07-'07... and double O-7 was HOT - so I heard)..
but alas, I didn't have a moment to write and sadly it wont come around again......
well.....
ever.
sigh.
anyways. it was a good day. I hung out with SJ and we went to the beach!!!
that's right - BEACH~!!!~
because I now reside in Barbados, the beautiful Island in the Sun ("willed to me by my father's hand") (none of you know that song, probably - but it's like our official island song - the not-quite-national anthem).
things with me here are going well. I'm have a moment to write because i'm at the library waiting for my sister. yes - the library - but just so we're clear - I now work at the library - so I get paid to spend all my time here - it's pretty sweet. :)
I have few funny library stories. but right now I'm in more of a reflective mood. so I will reflect instead. Tomorrow I'm throwing a thing at the beach. It's in an effort to see as many familiar faces as possible. I haven't been seeing a whole lot in the past month and I'm starting to feel it. Tomorrow is a significant day because it happens to be the anniversary of our graduation from Secondary School - so I've extended the invitation to the entire class (though I only called about 15 of the 135 - haha!). It's also a significant day for me - because it's kinda like my birth-day... or rather, my life-day.
It's the day I felt..... "alive - for the very first time" (sort of)
that was actually an entire year to the day before my graduation day. That was the day I found myself to be in love (for the very first time). That was exactly 7 years ago to the day.
I write it out now because - well - because it's no longer a "special day sacred only to me" (and him sorta). I write about it because so much has changed and it's time to move on. (I almost wrote sorta again in brackets - but no, this time the moving on has to be complete.)
There were sweet moments, such sweet moments. I hope everyone of you reading this post has been in love at some point - because it can be *Sweet*.
I've been reading over my old journals. The first time we told each other "I love you" I grinned for the rest of the week - I even did jigs for no reason on the way home from church, I was perfectly ridiculous.
I learned so much. I grew in ways I never imagined I could grow. But I think the biggest lesson I learned had to do with fear. I used to be so afraid to love completely - and rightly so - it's a powerful thing and a very vulnerable position to be in. but this is what John says on the matter
18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1John 4:18)
So when I read this I thought that the fear would go away. But instead I had to learn to give it away - To God. He is the one that loves us perfectly. And what's more, I had to learn to give it away as many times as it came back - because it did come back.
So, I'm glad I learned that. I'm glad I grew in that. I don't regret a moment of it.
I hope you are well my friends. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes (when I possibly see him - for the first time in 4 years...we'll see how well I've moved on..)
I love you all.
I miss you.
tulip
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