hiho
how you do?
...things with me are fine.
the wind was crazy today! I didn't wear my hat - I thought my head would freeze!
..... yeah, I know! I have to be more careful with that.
so, What did you get up to last night?
.... Oh yeah? that must have been delicious! I really like when it's covered in cheese! (smile)mmmmm.
I didn't do much. I went to Swahili. It was ok. Then I made couscous. the expiry date was on wednesday - but it still tasted fine... I hope it's ok to eat it today too.
....yeah, I know!
oh, tonight I'm going to Gospel choir. how about you?
.....oh. ok. that should be fun. I hope you enjoy it.
.....
(random conversation with no one in particular - in my head)
tulip
Friday, January 19, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
The things I take for granted
It always amazes me when I realise the things that I've been taking for granted.
like self-esteem.
I always forget about self-esteem, self-confidence...etc. It's partly because I'm seldom in situations where I feel I need to show any of it!lol.. but that's also because even when I am in such a situation I don't notice that I'm using it. do you know what I mean?
like my body. or the clothes I wear. I can walk out the door wearing whatever (pajamas spart?!... we classified "dressing up" as wearing jeans! lol) and not worry about what people think of me (it also helps that I live in Toronto and I don't think people actually ever see me unless they've just run into me..lol)...(I'm lucky if I remember to comb my hair before I leave the house!! or look in the mirror...!)(ok. that's one of the benefits of University which I will have to put to rest when I go to work, especially in Barbados where people aren't afraid to tell you how you look...lol!)
but seriously. I always feel slightly surprised when I speak to someone who has to think about all those things (and make up, and stylish clothing and shoes! and hairstyle, and all those extra trappings that people use - not because they want to but because they feel they have to). My sister used to say that it was only because I wasn't (insert negative subjective comment here: eg ugly.....). but then I would shrug and argue that no one is (ugly)...(it's all subjective!) (although I must take a moment to say that I am truly stunning and gorgeous!!! lol).
I think it's partly that I don't see myself in my surroundings. I don't really notice things like my (height/complexion/size/dress/hair) because for one - I can't see myself 99% of the time (I don't carry around a mirror)!
(and if anyone has a problem with my hair they can come and comb it for me!!lol)
I guess I'm just writing to say that this is one more thing for me to be thankful for. I suspect it has something to do with my dad - he was always telling me I was beautiful and intelligent :)... or maybe not - I don't actually remember now... in any case, he always listened to me, and let me know that he valued my presence - which is enough to make anyone feel important, intelligent and yes - even beautiful. I hope I can do the same for any child of mine.
And for those of you lacking it - I hope you can find it in the encouraging smile of that beautiful person who wakes up with you every day... you know...the one in the mirror!
you are important! and special! and loved by God! and by me!
:)
I'm thankful for my self esteem!
(heart) tulip
like self-esteem.
I always forget about self-esteem, self-confidence...etc. It's partly because I'm seldom in situations where I feel I need to show any of it!lol.. but that's also because even when I am in such a situation I don't notice that I'm using it. do you know what I mean?
like my body. or the clothes I wear. I can walk out the door wearing whatever (pajamas spart?!... we classified "dressing up" as wearing jeans! lol) and not worry about what people think of me (it also helps that I live in Toronto and I don't think people actually ever see me unless they've just run into me..lol)...(I'm lucky if I remember to comb my hair before I leave the house!! or look in the mirror...!)(ok. that's one of the benefits of University which I will have to put to rest when I go to work, especially in Barbados where people aren't afraid to tell you how you look...lol!)
but seriously. I always feel slightly surprised when I speak to someone who has to think about all those things (and make up, and stylish clothing and shoes! and hairstyle, and all those extra trappings that people use - not because they want to but because they feel they have to). My sister used to say that it was only because I wasn't (insert negative subjective comment here: eg ugly.....). but then I would shrug and argue that no one is (ugly)...(it's all subjective!) (although I must take a moment to say that I am truly stunning and gorgeous!!! lol).
I think it's partly that I don't see myself in my surroundings. I don't really notice things like my (height/complexion/size/dress/hair) because for one - I can't see myself 99% of the time (I don't carry around a mirror)!
(and if anyone has a problem with my hair they can come and comb it for me!!lol)
I guess I'm just writing to say that this is one more thing for me to be thankful for. I suspect it has something to do with my dad - he was always telling me I was beautiful and intelligent :)... or maybe not - I don't actually remember now... in any case, he always listened to me, and let me know that he valued my presence - which is enough to make anyone feel important, intelligent and yes - even beautiful. I hope I can do the same for any child of mine.
And for those of you lacking it - I hope you can find it in the encouraging smile of that beautiful person who wakes up with you every day... you know...the one in the mirror!
you are important! and special! and loved by God! and by me!
:)
I'm thankful for my self esteem!
(heart) tulip
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Go Shorty! it's your T-DAY!!!
happy birthday to me!!!!
(24 thoughts of gratitude)
I'm grateful for 24 years.
I'm grateful that I could spend the day with one of my best friends.
I'm grateful for the knowledge that my Father God has been with me for every one of my birthdays! and has loved me even before birth!!
I'm grateful for health.
I'm grateful for delicious food (Can we say Dimitries??!!!!)
I'm grateful for friends.
I'm grateful for family.
I'm grateful for the freedom to serve the Lord and practise my own religion without secrecy.
I'm grateful for cookies.
I'm grateful for the ability to write my thoughts.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with others.
I'm grateful for others to share my thoughts too (thanks you guys!!)
I'm grateful for the ability to read!
I'm grateful for a bed and a warm house.
I'm grateful for warm clothing.
I'm grateful to be in CANADA - a wonderful country!!
I'm grateful to be going home to BARBADOS some day soon - also a wonderful country.
I'm grateful for good dreams.
I'm grateful for chocolate.
I'm grateful for happy memories.
I'm grateful for bad dreams and unhappy memories (sometimes they make you appreciate the good ones even more!)
I'm grateful for friends that stick by my non-communicitivity(!??! it's my birthday - I can invent at least one word!)
I'm grateful for the ability to learn.... and relearn... and learn some more!!
I'm grateful for second chances.. and third chances!!
I'm grateful for 24 years!! and I'm grateful for you, dear reader!
love, tulip
(24 thoughts of gratitude)
I'm grateful for 24 years.
I'm grateful that I could spend the day with one of my best friends.
I'm grateful for the knowledge that my Father God has been with me for every one of my birthdays! and has loved me even before birth!!
I'm grateful for health.
I'm grateful for delicious food (Can we say Dimitries??!!!!)
I'm grateful for friends.
I'm grateful for family.
I'm grateful for the freedom to serve the Lord and practise my own religion without secrecy.
I'm grateful for cookies.
I'm grateful for the ability to write my thoughts.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with others.
I'm grateful for others to share my thoughts too (thanks you guys!!)
I'm grateful for the ability to read!
I'm grateful for a bed and a warm house.
I'm grateful for warm clothing.
I'm grateful to be in CANADA - a wonderful country!!
I'm grateful to be going home to BARBADOS some day soon - also a wonderful country.
I'm grateful for good dreams.
I'm grateful for chocolate.
I'm grateful for happy memories.
I'm grateful for bad dreams and unhappy memories (sometimes they make you appreciate the good ones even more!)
I'm grateful for friends that stick by my non-communicitivity(!??! it's my birthday - I can invent at least one word!)
I'm grateful for the ability to learn.... and relearn... and learn some more!!
I'm grateful for second chances.. and third chances!!
I'm grateful for 24 years!! and I'm grateful for you, dear reader!
love, tulip
Monday, January 01, 2007
2006 - Staying Connected
What I like about Christmas in Canada -
.......
snow
...... except this year there was no snow.
I must admit - that though I enjoy the warmth - I now understand a bit why so many people insist on a white Christmas. the entire atmosphere is different. the sounds are different - blanketed - quiet - soft. I enjoy that quiet excited feeling that comes with snow.
What I like about Christmas anywhere - celebrating the birth of Christ - He's pretty universal that way :). I like going back to the wonder of a virgin birth - the Joy of the birth of HOPE, and hearing the story (the history...his-story) over and over again.
what I don't like about the "Holiday season" is the shopping culture - I don't like feeling pressured to buy and accept gifts - that really people don't use or need! so this year I was happy with the way my family handled it - see below.
What is something me and my family do -
this year my aunt and cousins cancelled "Christmas". we did spend the day together - but no gifts, no extra trappings, decorations; just good food and good company - it was great!!! the best I've had a long time.
What was the food like?
well, this year - the young ladies ("kids") got together and we did the baking. we made extremely yummy coconut swirl brownies - if you like coconut and chocolate it's like a collision of HAPPINESS!!!!! we also made "soft and chewy" chocolate chip cookies (can we say YUM??!!!); dried fruit bars and chocolate cake!! then my aunt made dinner - Crabslegs, smoked turkey, fish, seasonsed rice, stuffing (I'm a lover I admit), asparagus {you haven't had asparagus until you've had it by my aunt:)}.
looking back on 2006
I'm ashamed to admit it - but I really don't want to look back on it. Or think about the things I would change. ... I'd change so much. don't get me wrong - it wasn't bad... but I'm excited for 2007!
to mention the good stuff - it would be living with my favourite (now) long distance roommate (who only became long distance in september). I enjoyed shamelessly enjoying the OC, s'mores and countless other guilty pleasures. I laugh when I think about us. Had it just been one person doing the things we did, they may have been called 'antisocial' or 'odd' - but two's company! so we had a good time.
stuff I'd change would be relationship wise I guess. I'd be a bit more decisive and more cautious with my feelings, emotions, actions.
how have I changed? I think I've learned a lot about myself this year - I haven't neccesarily grown stronger - but I've recognised strength in myself (which always makes a person stronger!). God has been teaching me so many things that I'm only excited about what I'll learn in 2007 and excited about what will happen. (excited, and I must admit - terrified - but I'm working on letting Him handle the fear).
looking forward to 2007
I graduate this year!!!!! very exciting!
and after that is a huge ledge from which I will jump (and fly!) - that's how I feel about the future right now - I have no idea what's in it. .. but at least I know who holds the future :)
what do I want to happen? I want to go to Barbados for a bit and soak in as much sun, sand and salt water as is humanly possible (don't worry - I'll be sure to apply sunscreen). will I stay there? I don't know - as I said - currently the future is an unknown (a sort of blank - in the way that a canvas is blank - and mostly inspiring).
new year’s resolution
to be more disciplined... who am I kidding .... to be disciplined!! you know - keep all those resolutions I've made for the past several years (you know the usual suspects: exercise, journalling, constructive reading, spiritual discipline)... I've decided that discipline is the biggest thing lacking - so I'll work on that
I just want to take a moment to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wish all you ladies (and male readers that I don't know about) a safe and prosperous 2007.
I've enjoyed reading your blogs, learning your thoughts and staying connected for the past year - as the new year takes me into the unknown I hope we can all keep in touch and remain a supportive community.:)
(heart) tulip
.......
snow
...... except this year there was no snow.
I must admit - that though I enjoy the warmth - I now understand a bit why so many people insist on a white Christmas. the entire atmosphere is different. the sounds are different - blanketed - quiet - soft. I enjoy that quiet excited feeling that comes with snow.
What I like about Christmas anywhere - celebrating the birth of Christ - He's pretty universal that way :). I like going back to the wonder of a virgin birth - the Joy of the birth of HOPE, and hearing the story (the history...his-story) over and over again.
what I don't like about the "Holiday season" is the shopping culture - I don't like feeling pressured to buy and accept gifts - that really people don't use or need! so this year I was happy with the way my family handled it - see below.
What is something me and my family do -
this year my aunt and cousins cancelled "Christmas". we did spend the day together - but no gifts, no extra trappings, decorations; just good food and good company - it was great!!! the best I've had a long time.
What was the food like?
well, this year - the young ladies ("kids") got together and we did the baking. we made extremely yummy coconut swirl brownies - if you like coconut and chocolate it's like a collision of HAPPINESS!!!!! we also made "soft and chewy" chocolate chip cookies (can we say YUM??!!!); dried fruit bars and chocolate cake!! then my aunt made dinner - Crabslegs, smoked turkey, fish, seasonsed rice, stuffing (I'm a lover I admit), asparagus {you haven't had asparagus until you've had it by my aunt:)}.
looking back on 2006
I'm ashamed to admit it - but I really don't want to look back on it. Or think about the things I would change. ... I'd change so much. don't get me wrong - it wasn't bad... but I'm excited for 2007!
to mention the good stuff - it would be living with my favourite (now) long distance roommate (who only became long distance in september). I enjoyed shamelessly enjoying the OC, s'mores and countless other guilty pleasures. I laugh when I think about us. Had it just been one person doing the things we did, they may have been called 'antisocial' or 'odd' - but two's company! so we had a good time.
stuff I'd change would be relationship wise I guess. I'd be a bit more decisive and more cautious with my feelings, emotions, actions.
how have I changed? I think I've learned a lot about myself this year - I haven't neccesarily grown stronger - but I've recognised strength in myself (which always makes a person stronger!). God has been teaching me so many things that I'm only excited about what I'll learn in 2007 and excited about what will happen. (excited, and I must admit - terrified - but I'm working on letting Him handle the fear).
looking forward to 2007
I graduate this year!!!!! very exciting!
and after that is a huge ledge from which I will jump (and fly!) - that's how I feel about the future right now - I have no idea what's in it. .. but at least I know who holds the future :)
what do I want to happen? I want to go to Barbados for a bit and soak in as much sun, sand and salt water as is humanly possible (don't worry - I'll be sure to apply sunscreen). will I stay there? I don't know - as I said - currently the future is an unknown (a sort of blank - in the way that a canvas is blank - and mostly inspiring).
new year’s resolution
to be more disciplined... who am I kidding .... to be disciplined!! you know - keep all those resolutions I've made for the past several years (you know the usual suspects: exercise, journalling, constructive reading, spiritual discipline)... I've decided that discipline is the biggest thing lacking - so I'll work on that
I just want to take a moment to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wish all you ladies (and male readers that I don't know about) a safe and prosperous 2007.
I've enjoyed reading your blogs, learning your thoughts and staying connected for the past year - as the new year takes me into the unknown I hope we can all keep in touch and remain a supportive community.:)
(heart) tulip
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