(to borrow lovely C's first line...)

"Today, I
laughed so hard I cried (and spontaneously too - no giddy build up, was taken completely by surprise). It was awesome."
(taken from C's post Feb 9th)

I couldn't say it better myself - so I just copied and pasted (C, I hope you don't mind)...
oh my goodness! I just had such a good laugh I'm tired. And I totally didn't expect it. Have you seen Little Miss Sunshine? I'm not recommending it by any means - but I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. (I'm still laughing).

Today, I also - looked for someone that I can't see...
don't ask me how or why. because I don't know. I just wish I could see them. Silly me.

Tulip

Hallo

hallo
I keep on looking at my blog expecting to see a new post. I know this might sound a little odd - well - (I actually do it all the time and have mentioned doing it before) - but this time it's true... I'm sure that I made a new post the other day... but I can't seem to find it. so then the question is - has it been lost in cyber space?? or did I just imagine writing it???
hmm
perhaps one day I'll know - though probably not..
otherwise - I have nothing to report. I actually do have a recent-ish post on Tom tales (which I did indeed write and which did indeed show up...) so you can take a look and let me know your opinions on the situation.
I hope you all had a good day yesterday - and weren't to bogged down by - expectations, disappointments or distractions. I heard several people refer to it as "Singles Awareness Day" - an idea which I like - but I don't like that it spells - SAD. because I'm not sad on that day! (although I must admit - I'm mostly indignant on it).
I hope you felt the love from somewhere, anywhere - whether it be from cats, dogs, shovelling snow, old people or friends. And just incase no-one said it to you let me say it now: I LOVE YOU!(insert your name here, I'll insert the names of my regular readers: Spart, Sappho, C, Hun, Tulip) :)

ok. got to run. wish me luck on my presentation this afternoon. I'm trying power-point for the first time!!
tulip

Full Moon

today, prompted by a random question from a friend - this is how I described my feeling
"my water flows - and ebbs and ebbs and flows - with the moon... today I am full - with the moon"

do you know that feeling? when you feel full to overflowing? to bursting - not necessarily in a bad way - just full - of emotion - of hope - of fear - of dreams....of love to give....

tulip..aka...water

Small talk

hiho
how you do?
...things with me are fine.
the wind was crazy today! I didn't wear my hat - I thought my head would freeze!
..... yeah, I know! I have to be more careful with that.
so, What did you get up to last night?
.... Oh yeah? that must have been delicious! I really like when it's covered in cheese! (smile)mmmmm.
I didn't do much. I went to Swahili. It was ok. Then I made couscous. the expiry date was on wednesday - but it still tasted fine... I hope it's ok to eat it today too.
....yeah, I know!
oh, tonight I'm going to Gospel choir. how about you?
.....oh. ok. that should be fun. I hope you enjoy it.
.....
(random conversation with no one in particular - in my head)
tulip

The things I take for granted

It always amazes me when I realise the things that I've been taking for granted.
like self-esteem.
I always forget about self-esteem, self-confidence...etc. It's partly because I'm seldom in situations where I feel I need to show any of it!lol.. but that's also because even when I am in such a situation I don't notice that I'm using it. do you know what I mean?
like my body. or the clothes I wear. I can walk out the door wearing whatever (pajamas spart?!... we classified "dressing up" as wearing jeans! lol) and not worry about what people think of me (it also helps that I live in Toronto and I don't think people actually ever see me unless they've just run into me..lol)...(I'm lucky if I remember to comb my hair before I leave the house!! or look in the mirror...!)(ok. that's one of the benefits of University which I will have to put to rest when I go to work, especially in Barbados where people aren't afraid to tell you how you look...lol!)
but seriously. I always feel slightly surprised when I speak to someone who has to think about all those things (and make up, and stylish clothing and shoes! and hairstyle, and all those extra trappings that people use - not because they want to but because they feel they have to). My sister used to say that it was only because I wasn't (insert negative subjective comment here: eg ugly.....). but then I would shrug and argue that no one is (ugly)...(it's all subjective!) (although I must take a moment to say that I am truly stunning and gorgeous!!! lol).
I think it's partly that I don't see myself in my surroundings. I don't really notice things like my (height/complexion/size/dress/hair) because for one - I can't see myself 99% of the time (I don't carry around a mirror)!
(and if anyone has a problem with my hair they can come and comb it for me!!lol)

I guess I'm just writing to say that this is one more thing for me to be thankful for. I suspect it has something to do with my dad - he was always telling me I was beautiful and intelligent :)... or maybe not - I don't actually remember now... in any case, he always listened to me, and let me know that he valued my presence - which is enough to make anyone feel important, intelligent and yes - even beautiful. I hope I can do the same for any child of mine.

And for those of you lacking it - I hope you can find it in the encouraging smile of that beautiful person who wakes up with you every day... you know...the one in the mirror!
you are important! and special! and loved by God! and by me!
:)

I'm thankful for my self esteem!

(heart) tulip