more thoughts..more walking

• I just finished reading Ella Enchanted - a wonderful book - full of suitable drama - so much so that at times I put it down despairing that things would ever (never?) work out well. now I'm so happy I don't know what to do with myself (sorry if I spoiled the ending for you but I didn't tell you everything).
• I will not allow myself to buy valentines cards - I stopped at the 7/11 and saw the nicest cards. why am I such a suck with a soft spot for romance? oh why?!!! I even formed a philosophy about Valentines day -Valentine's Day is propagated by card companies and other commercial enterprises - lovers don't need a day to show their love, and those who aren't lovers don't need a day either... everyone just ends up feeling down, or stressed and spending way too much money or worrying about no money being spent on them. (although I feel so strongly about this, I must note that I still require roses on said day). and so I will not buy cards (and send them to myself or any other - undeserving or deserving person - I must NOT give in).
• Natalie Cole.... mmmmmm.

love, tulip

Thoughts while walking

• What do people think about when they are walking down the street or when they're on a long bus ride with no book? I always wonder if they have serious thoughts or do they think about food (like I often do).
• It's hard to keep your own voice when you read other people's stuff a lot.
• who is HP? she/he (?) wrote a response to my first entry here, and neither C nor I have any idea who he/she is. we figure perhaps they linked me by my profile.. but they are unsearchable online, so Hp if you're listening (reading) reveal yourself to me (or just respond so I wouldn't be so freaked out) - something you said was very true - it is intimidating when you know you have an audience - I was kinda offset when I realised that more friends than the 2 I'd given my site to could read my entries... but it's turned out to be a good thing so far.
• I ought to write in my journal (paper) more - it's being neglected and it's calming to put pen to paper - I miss it.
• my hair is long enough to comb - oh dear.. I can't front anymore by pretending it's short.. what next? (Kailey would be sad if I cut it again but it's so much easier)
• I really need to start this book I've been trying to start for the past week - It's called The Purpose Driven Life - but - ever the procrastinator I'm having difficulty putting (my foot to the pedal? the pedal to the metal? what is the phrase?)... starting, though I'm excited to start. I'll start soon.
• I must email "Molls" I wonder what she's up to.
• oh dear, I couldn't stay awake in my Canadian Wilderness class today though it was very interesting - I guess that's what happens when you have 4 hours sleep for no good reason.
• Ella Enchanted is a good book so far, I think I'll read some more later.
• There is Something there.

those are many of my thoughts today as I walked along. here's a bit of weather talk - it was a beautiful day in that it wasn't too cold ("warm" by Canada Standards that is... my fellow bajans would be cringing to hear me say that -1 C is warm).

Talibah

p.s. maybe I should change my name to Tulip - that's the suggestion that the spell check makes every time I write an entry.

Tulip

Saf, you are *BRILLIANT*!!!

Spiral is exactly the word I use - only, I always envisioned it going down (spiraling downward) into an abyss - but I like your interpretation better (growing and learning). And no, I've never seen Howard's End, but now I'll definitely look out for it.
{For those of you a little lost - I'm responding to a response dear saf made to my last entry}.
[Oh how I love brackets/braces/whatever they're called - it's a wonderful way to write an aside without actually writing "aside"] (I probably use them entirely too much).
Oh, at this time I think I need to make a little clarification (for myself mainly, since none of my family reads this blog - as far as I know) Saf - is a friend from school (and the one on blogspot), and Saf is also the name of my sister (though she is not yet online) - and they are both lovely women.
and thanks to C - there is now a link to Saf (and other friends) on the side of my page (thanks C!) oh the joys of computer code.
I'm off to attempt (making) mostly vegetarian lasana - wish me luck!
love, talibah

unreasonable days... how great to be a woman (well, girl)

hallo
I've just watched a movie with Nat - it's called "A Room with a Veiw" - it's a splendid movie - and you should watch it sometime - a romance for romantics... this weekend I've had some quite unreasonable days. take yesterday for instance - I woke up mad and continued to be mad for the rest of the day - except when I took a nap (being mad is quite tiring) and when I sang with the gospel choir (what an experience to sing in Hebrew....). here are a few of the things I was mad at - my house was crazy cold, the weather is cold (-35 with the wind??!!), then I was late for meeting my friends, and I forgot to comb my hair (arrgg! hair) (I spent 10 minutes combing furiously in the jk washrooms that were provided for us in the temple - it's funny how you forget how low toilets have to be so that little kids can sit on them... how short we once were!). and my boots have quite given out - and I could not feel my toes... and then I was hungry. everything quite unreasonable really, and Hiedi rubbed my shoulders and laughed at me being mad, and I felt a little better. only then I wanted to burst into tears at the slightest disturbance (and indeed I did). then I came home and had chicken soup (the best cure for any malady).
today - today was a good day. church - a new class I've started - where we'll study a book - I'll tell you more about it in the days to come, then wonderful singing, then pastor Don.
then Nat and I watched a movie - as I've told you. we watched it first in 1st year - 4 years ago - and loved it. and today, as I watched I loved it all over again. but bitter sweet maybe - it's hard to fully enjoy a romantic movie when... well, when your feeling unreasonable. and I am feeling a bit unreasonable today. how? well, I'll be a little frank right now (and cringe in the near or distant future) - I miss my guy. it's one of those stupid things where your sure you're all better and then something happens - or nothing happens and then your thrown back to square one and a half, and you can't help yourself. do you know what I mean? (stupid boys that won't let you love them). ok, I've been frank enough, and will probably edit this later..
how nice it is to have a surface upon which to rant (a veritable 'Kailey's futon' upon which I can moan) and not be alone in doing so.
it's almost full moon tonight - almost full and beautiful.
talibah

I hate evil surface talk

Let me take a moment to tell you a little about evil-surface-talk (e.s.t.) (a.k.a weather talk). I suppose in simple terms it can refer to talking (incessantly) about the weather, though it is by no means restricted to such - it includes talking about school, work, food, movies - especially (infact, specifically) when this is not what is foremost on one's mind. The reason I consider it "evil" is for this very reason. so many times we fail to connect because we are too afraid, or because social norms dictate that for the sake of universal comfort and "politeness" we avoid certain subjects of emotion and any matter too close to the heart. I do not mean that I believe that we should tell any and everyone everything, everytime there's something on our mind, but I've found that I often go so far in the opposite direction that at times some of my closest friends have claimed not to "know me - really" (what's with that? *rant for another day*). I suppose, the impetus for this rant came recently when I actually wanted to say something - real - (n.b "real" is the opposite of "surface") but could not for various reasons, and so had to resort to e.s.t. which pained me so. at times I'd almost rather not speak at all than participate in e.s.t. ...

I go to the Rock

Hallo,when I first started this blog I was all excited about all the things that I could right... and then I hit an immediate writers block - I'm stuck at this - do I write something serious? or something fun? do I go personal/intimate? or surface ("weather talk" - an icky, evil thing when there is real conversation to be had)? It's been days and still I can't decide. Then today I learned something, that I must learn continuously it seems, I learned that I must be my own person. "to thine own self be true" in a matter of speaking. and so, be forewarned, there might not be light things ahead (though Thomas will forever be by my side and when he is, there must be some smiles), but it will all be true to life (my life right now).