(belated) Triple O seven

Hi Everyone!!
I'm here.
I've been meaning to write since last friday - the day before Triple O-7. I thought it was a fantastic name for a blog (given that the date was going to be the 7th of July 2007, or 07-07-'07... and double O-7 was HOT - so I heard)..
but alas, I didn't have a moment to write and sadly it wont come around again......
well.....
ever.
sigh.
anyways. it was a good day. I hung out with SJ and we went to the beach!!!
that's right - BEACH~!!!~
because I now reside in Barbados, the beautiful Island in the Sun ("willed to me by my father's hand") (none of you know that song, probably - but it's like our official island song - the not-quite-national anthem).
things with me here are going well. I'm have a moment to write because i'm at the library waiting for my sister. yes - the library - but just so we're clear - I now work at the library - so I get paid to spend all my time here - it's pretty sweet. :)
I have few funny library stories. but right now I'm in more of a reflective mood. so I will reflect instead. Tomorrow I'm throwing a thing at the beach. It's in an effort to see as many familiar faces as possible. I haven't been seeing a whole lot in the past month and I'm starting to feel it. Tomorrow is a significant day because it happens to be the anniversary of our graduation from Secondary School - so I've extended the invitation to the entire class (though I only called about 15 of the 135 - haha!). It's also a significant day for me - because it's kinda like my birth-day... or rather, my life-day.
It's the day I felt..... "alive - for the very first time" (sort of)
that was actually an entire year to the day before my graduation day. That was the day I found myself to be in love (for the very first time). That was exactly 7 years ago to the day.
I write it out now because - well - because it's no longer a "special day sacred only to me" (and him sorta). I write about it because so much has changed and it's time to move on. (I almost wrote sorta again in brackets - but no, this time the moving on has to be complete.)
There were sweet moments, such sweet moments. I hope everyone of you reading this post has been in love at some point - because it can be *Sweet*.
I've been reading over my old journals. The first time we told each other "I love you" I grinned for the rest of the week - I even did jigs for no reason on the way home from church, I was perfectly ridiculous.
I learned so much. I grew in ways I never imagined I could grow. But I think the biggest lesson I learned had to do with fear. I used to be so afraid to love completely - and rightly so - it's a powerful thing and a very vulnerable position to be in. but this is what John says on the matter

18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1John 4:18)

So when I read this I thought that the fear would go away. But instead I had to learn to give it away - To God. He is the one that loves us perfectly. And what's more, I had to learn to give it away as many times as it came back - because it did come back.
So, I'm glad I learned that. I'm glad I grew in that. I don't regret a moment of it.
I hope you are well my friends. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes (when I possibly see him - for the first time in 4 years...we'll see how well I've moved on..)
I love you all.
I miss you.
tulip

Off

so in my last post I said I was having an 'off' past 24 hours ('off' as in crazy laughing). this is what set me 'off' -
I had some of the most amazing turkey yesterday at dinner. I restrained myself, only having one piece and another forkful - though I wanted soo much more. What I liked best about it was that it was succulent, and meaty, and I was sure to eat all the fat (mmm...fat..).
Later, this is a short convo I had with my dear not so long distance long distance roommate.

• me: wow, that dinner was really good, that was some of the best turkey I've ever tasted!!!
• spart: umm, that wasn't turkey, it was pork.
• me: really???!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA! that's why it was so good!!!

hahahahahahaa etc

(I'm laughing still). I'm glad I'm not Jewish (or some other form of Kosher) because I would not have thought to ask - thinking it was turkey.
crazy laughter, on top of Kangaroo squares plus chocolate plus raisins (think sugar + sugar +more sugar) is not a good combination - or rather, it is too good a combination. hahahahahahahaa.
tulip

Itchy

hallo
I'm feeling itchy, and prompted by my longdistance roomate who is currently not so long a distance away as I am sleeping in her bed (!!) (I had to add that!!) - (don't worry folks it's all G-rated - she's opted for the couch) - to write a blog (phew that was a longggg sentence), so I will write one. Though I cannot vouch for my sanity as I write since I've been having an 'off' past 24 hours (not 'off' as in bad - off as in mad - the crazy laughing kind).
'Itchy' the description I used at the beginning of the blog has a variety of definitions - it could mean for instance

1. I've sat outside without bug repellent and have been attacked by bugs, and since I seem to have developed some sort of allergy/sensitivity to mosquitoes in the past year, I itch (as in itch itch scratch scratch) for the next 2 weeks... (a sensitivity which I'm hoping to lose on my return to the tropical isle since there are many mosquitoes there and it would be a shame to be permanently itchy).
2. restless - as in I want to do something but I don't quite know what
3. antsy - as in I don't want to be doing what I'm doing but would rather be doing something else somewhere else, though what and where are often unclear.
4. hot and bothered (nuff said) (pardon my frankness).
5. itchy inside - which is hard to explain but which comes about when I've eaten too much of something though I know not what exactly, though generally I feel better the next day.
6. one letter short of bitchy - which is exactly that - but which I, thankfully, don't feel too frequently anymore... or at least I don't think I do, maybe I do but have forgotten it - my close friends would be a better judge than I... in any case - I certainly used to experience this particular form of itchyness when I was a teenager (something about moodiness and going through 'that phase').
7. like screaming and dancing and running around (clothes not optional since I currently live with a never nudist - haha).

Ok. now that I've described and defined, let me clarify: currently I'm feeling somewhere around definitions 2 and 7.

how are you feeling today?

tulip

small talk/goodbyes/I love you's

so I wanted to see something new when I looked at my blog so I thought I'd write a note to say hey.
* * *
hey
how's it going?
it's ok with me.
I'm all moved out of Toronto...officially, gave up the keys and everything. staying at my favourite long-distance roommate... and waiting for graduation - convocation - d(done)-day. the end of undergrad at uni.
huzzah.
yeah, moving out was ok - crazy busy saying goodbye to everyone.
yeah, I know! I hate goodbyes. I much rather I love you's but sometimes I'm so busy being sad about saying goodbye I forget to say I love you. which leaves me feeling more sad afterwards, so sometimes I whisper it after people and then it's as if I've said it to them and I feel a bit better.
* * *

so, incase I forget to say I love you, I'll say it now to you guys - I LOVE YOU!
I wanted to write out a special blog saying nice things about everyone- but instead I'll just write the shortened version. I'll write out a word that matches with each of my readers (well, the ones I know about) - and if you see one you like you can apply it to yourself. part of the inspiration comes from 13 letters (found on the blogs of shopgirl and spart) .... but then I thought - I'd like to write only nice things ... and then I thought I'd pair it up with names - or at least specifics so that people could guess who they are ... and then I thought - what if someone feels putout or jealous about someone else's word ... so this way you can choose the one you like best and think that it applies to you - in fact - feel free to choose more than one.
:)

inspiring
beautiful
fun and frank
mostly kind/witty(sharp)
blossoming
flipping amazing/hardcore
driven
hug
soul-sister
heart-sister
organic


hope you saw a word you liked. just for the record (and to see if I've missed anyone/don't know who reads my blog) - the people I was thinking about (in no particular order) are Hun, Sappho, C, Shopgirl, molly, Spart, sweets, tulip (I couldn't think of a word for myself - but I did see several I liked), Nat (I know she doesn't read my blog, but I couldn't leave her out)... so if u haven't seen your name could you please comment and I'll be sure to respond with a word for you (and if I don't know you the word might be 'creepy' - haha).
I heart you all dear readers.
tulip

ps- incase you were counting - I did throw in some extra words that fit, afterall- how can you describe some people in one word??
pps - on second reading I realise that most of these words could apply to all of you lovely ladies at some point in time :).

May the 4th be with you

heheheh.
I know it's actually May the 5th but I didn't get the chance to come onto blogger yesterday - and otherwise I'll have to wait a whole year!!
ok. now that that's off my chest.
hello!
I'm all done exams!!!
forever!!!!!!!!!
(well, technically, it's probably just until I go back to school next year - but saying 'forever' feels soo good!). so I've just been trying to sublet my place (so if you know anyone looking for a room for the summer, send her to me please!). Oh, the people I've met - but sadly no takers so far - everyone wants to sign the lease for the whole year - which is not possible. sigh*
ok. that's all for now - I know - quite an unsatisfactory blog, considering I haven't written in so long - but I have to go outside and enjoy the sunshine. talk soon.
tulip